Talking Bodies
by Madelaine Grace
You don’t make decisions for my body. I do.
We do not share our bodies as one, whether we are in a relationship, or not...
Now, I believe there to be a line between gentlemanly behavior and completely disregarding a woman entirely. Here me out, to see what it is.
STORY TIME:
Before I began dating, (a very loving, and wonderful man) we began like any couple might; we began as an “item.” Just starting to get to know each other, and it was obvious to those around.
Coming to the end of a long shift of work, I happily stood in front of my not yet boyfriend, while he lightly massaged my shoulders. Our male friend came over and jokingly pushed me out of the way so he could get his shoulders rubbed instead.
Now, I don’t know about you, but when I was younger and especially while I played basketball and volleyball, my teammates and I would sit in a circle and massage one another’s shoulders, it was a massage train. Everyone benefited.
So after being cast aside from my massage, by our friend, I jumped in front of him and said, “let’s make it a train.” I still wanted a massage!
He replied, “well (if the guy I’m seeing) doesn’t mind.”
Such a simple notion, what he thinks is respectful to his friend, is actually putting me second in line to a decision about my body. It’s like working in cubicles and before you can go ahead in moving forward with a project, you check with your co-worker, but then you also have to check with the next person in power to make sure it’s okay.
But… I’m not a project, and no one has more power over my body, than me, right?
My point is, is that there’s a blind interpretation in our culture to acknowledge the respect of men, before women. Even when that said respect has to do with the woman’s body.
I stood up for myself, “excuse me?” I said, “this is my body and it is irrelevant if it’s okay with him or not, because It only matters if it’s okay with me.”
We do not share our bodies as if they are one. We each have one body, two separate bodies. This one is mine and that one is yours.